Anacortes was not the most beautiful place Evana has ever visited. It was not the richest nor the kindest. But despite all of this, it became Evana’s home. The first home she ever had.
Before coming here, she had traveled through many cities, opening herself up to new people and taking the time to learn them, soothe them, love them and eventually leave them.
Always leaving them behind for she could not bear the opposite.
She kept moving, moving, moving and she never stop to truly lose herself in someone;
She did not want to become someone’s person. Opening up to people? Yes but only to certain point. No one was worth trying more. Not after Tobias.
So, she stayed restless, brilliant and unruly.
Eventually came the time for Evana to grow weary of travel and Anacortes seems like a good place to rest.
She had rent a small apartment, perfectly suited to her needs. A tiny kitchen, a small bedroom, an even smaller living room… the girl still wasn’t’ comfortable owing much. She felt safer in small places, with minimum belongings. The scars Mrs. Robinson left on her soul would never truly fade.
On day, on her way to the groceries store, Evana bumped into a boy – no, she thought, this is a man, a little older than her, taller than her and stronger than her.
She immediately took several steps backward and the boy-man follow after her with two steps of his own before taking them back, eyes widening and hands raised in a gesture of submission.
His eyes seemed to say: Please don’t be scared, I’m harmless..
However just because Evana had learned to love people did not mean she was stupid. Nobody was harmless.
Then the boy-man broke into the goofiest grin she ever saw and waived both his hands in an enthusiastic greeting, telling her he’s called Elliot.
She stared at him for a minute before giving back her own name.
Falling in love with Elliot was nothing like falling in love with Tobias. With her dear, sweet Tobias, she felt blessed, overwhelmed and grateful. She let it happened because it was an an unknown source of happiness, a new and unexpected kindness, something she never felt before. It was as warm as the sun and as safe as the womb, she could not get enough of it.
With Elliot, she fought the feeling every step of the way. She called upon every brick on the wall surrounding her soul, she pilled on many masks to cover her true face and she tried so very hard to prevent Elliot from truly see her, learn her, love her.
But the boy-man persevered and eventually, Evana gave in.
Where Tobias has been whispers and snow, Elliot was furnace and loud.
Evana should not compare but she could not help it. She did not understand how she could love two people that were so different from each other.
Elliot did not shy away from the darkness of her past, he wasn’t uncomfortable with the ever-lasting grief residing in her heart, he wasn’t horrified by the suffering her birth and hair-color had brought into her life.
He accepted it all and never pitied her.
“I’m an orphan, I have nothing to offer you” she would say and he would reply: “You are an orphan but you are not alone, I just wish for your time and for your friendship”
“I’m ugly and I don’t know how to love. You are wasting your time” she would spite and he would chuckle and reply “You are gorgeous, all red, like fire and roses. And you know how to love. You love me already I see it in your eyes. I’m not wasting anything, you are worth everything.”
Three months turned into three years. Eventually, Evana let her thousand masks fall off her face and told him she loves him too.
Elliot gave her that goofy grin of his and that was that.
He wore the same grin when they wed.
He also wore it when their red-head son was born. Oliver, my little red bean, his mother would call him.
Sixty years after that, on her last day on earth, Evana eventually understood something fundamental about life.
Life has not been kind to her. At least at the beginning, starting with her birth. But life was not meant to be kind always, just like it wasn’t meant to be cruel always. She had suffered for the longest time but that did not mean she was cursed. She was not destined to unhappiness just as she would not always know bliss. She was just meant to live.
Live, feel and be.
And that’s what she did.
This was the final part of Evana’s Chronicle. Thank you to everyone who follows that series.
Coming soon: The podfic series version.
- Featured Image Header: Source and Credits: “In Grass Looking Up” by Mark Carper – Please support the wonderful artist on their page.